Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize