it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
