R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
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