How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Randomize
