I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
