then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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