Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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