don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
that is very illegal...i love you.
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