Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
