I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
