That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
