I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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