Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
