Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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