Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
it's like iHOP with fire
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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