Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Randomize
