Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
