at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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