I could have mohawked her pubes.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
there is glitter all over my balls
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