Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
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