at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
How does one acquire holy water?
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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