Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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