I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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