I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
