do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
