in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
you would pick up someone in the library
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
