Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
