He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
