somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
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