it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
