that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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