why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
