So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
