are you still at the devil's house?
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Alive.
So much puke
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
