I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
