I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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