The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
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