THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
