when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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