Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
