You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I am available for nakedness
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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