Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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