what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
