Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
