Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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