I wish I could teleport
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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