What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
