do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
