please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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