no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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