She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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