If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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